What to expect in the first counselling session

I won't ever forget my first counselling session. I was so nervous and unsure of what to say, of being analyzed, judged, or scrutinized.

And what stressed me most was wondering what I was supposed to say!

As a naturally extroverted chatterbox, I showed up in session and sat there, silent and kind of stunned. I was used to small talk and talking about others rather than talking about myself.

Luckily, I quickly realized - therapists are trained to guide us through our sessions.

What to expect in your first counselling session

In the first session, your therapist focuses on helping you feel comfortable and at ease, building trust and rapport. Assuring you that you are not being judged and that your therapist is listening to your strengths, challenges, goals and barriers. You'll likely be asked about "your world" - who your influencers are, where you grew up, siblings, and significant caregivers. You will be asked about not only trauma and loss, but also about your resourcing and resiliency. All of this helps the therapist begin to formulate how to support you.

This first phase of counselling is about genuinely getting to know who you are, who you want to be and what prevents you from getting there.

Diagnostic screens in your first counselling session

How do you measure success in counselling? How do you know when it's time to stop or take a break? Screens for anxiety, depression, PTSD, and attachment are so helpful to see if our interventions are working. You may be asked to complete a "baseline" that tells the therapist where your symptoms are at now, and at around session 4, you'd complete the same tool again to see if things are getting better. If they are - great! If the numbers stay the same or decrease, the therapist will change which tools they use.

Talking about homework in your first counselling session

It's the real world, and not everyone has time for homework outside of sessions. It's completely acceptable to share with your therapist if you'd prefer to keep out-of-session work to a minimum. You can also specify whether you prefer handouts. That said, you should expect some "homework" in terms of behaviours or thoughts, i.e. between sessions, try to take a walk. If you return to the session and you never took the walk you wanted to take, don't worry, we aren't judging you! We're listening to what held you back and how we can help.

Talking about your ex-therapist in your first counselling session

We get it! You may have had a previous therapist, and things ended for whatever reason. Connected to that can be grief, disappointment, and loss of hope. We are here to support you with that. In fact, it's super helpful to hear what has helped you in the past and what hasn't. It's not uncommon for people to share, explore, and process their feelings related to past therapy.

Concluding your first counselling session

Toward the end of the session, your counsellor may provide feedback based on the information shared. This could include insights, initial observations, or potential areas of focus for future sessions. The counselling process is collaborative, and your input is valued in shaping the direction of your therapy.

Generally speaking most people start with weekly sessions, then bi-weekly, then every 3 weeks, then monthly then maintenance as needed

As the first counselling session comes to a close, your therapist will likely summarize the key points discussed. They will discuss any insights gained, address lingering concerns, and collaboratively plan the next steps in your therapeutic journey. This might include setting goals for future sessions, exploring potential therapeutic approaches, or discussing homework assignments to enhance your progress.

By understanding what to expect and actively participating in the first counselling session, you can make the most of this transformative experience. Remember, counselling is a collaborative effort, and your counsellor is there to support you on your journey toward greater well-being and self-discovery. Embrace the opportunity for positive change that each counselling session brings, and approach the process with an open mind and a willingness to engage in self-reflection.

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Farah Kurji, BSW, MSW, RCSW

EMDR Therapist and Consultant

Farah is a registered social worker and psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience supporting individuals navigating anxiety, trauma, grief, perfectionism, stress and emotional overwhelm.

She provides online counselling for CBT, ACT, Somatic Treatment and EMDR therapy, spiritually integrated psychotherapy, and has advanced skills to support individual and group work for high-functioning adults seeking deeper healing and authenticity.

Farah is also an EMDR Consultant and clinical supervisor, mentoring therapists in EMDR therapy. She is also in academia, researching the integration of spirituality/religion with psychotherapy.

You can book a complimentary meet-and-greet with her HERE.