‘Tis the season for family, fun, love and making memories.
But... what if the holiday season brings up memories of loved ones, of memories that were once made and still float within us? What do you do with feelings of isolation and being “stuck”?
If this resonates I thought I'd share some ideas to help when you’re working with grief during the season.
Take a seat. Find a place that feels calm and quiet to you. It doesn't matter how long ago the loss was processing can feel like an ongoing experience - so pause and allow yourself space to check in with yourself.
Set a time limit. You don't have to stay at social events the entire time. Remember, you can leave when you feel you've had your fill and even 10 mins before! Leave some time for flexibility to meet your own needs.
Notice your body. Be with your body as you sit, breathe and allow yourself to sink into your body and notice what your body holds and where it is holding it. Just the fact that you are bringing awareness to your body can help to bring soothing and calm.
Manage expectations. You probably know by now but when grieving, you can't expect others to know what to say, how to say it or when to say it. So remember to manage the expectations you have of what others say, do or expect of you and more of what you expect of yourself.
Assess what you need - like actually! What makes you feel comfortable and what makes you feel unsteady plus go ahead and share! Tell people what you need! Let loved ones know what you need as you approach the season.
Wander. Let your mind wander through the great and not so great memories more comfort can be found when we allow the mind to sift through the good and not so good memories - rather than trying to hold them at arms length or avoid them!
I hope you find some of these strategies useful and I would love to hear your feedback! But..If you find yourself stuck and need more assistance to work through your grief, please hit reply - we can chat and figure out what you need for support in a free consult!
Wishing you a safe and loving holiday season!
Farah M. Kurji is an advanced trained clinician specializing in trauma, loss, anxiety and depression. She includes EMDR, CBT & Yoga among her treatment modalities. Farah also provides clinical consultations and debriefing. You can book with her or her team HERE.